Thursday, April 27, 2023
The Bees Are Awake
"Mommy. Mom? Mom?" my four-year-old son, River, calls.
"Mmm-hmm," I murmur, wiping the sleep from my eyes as I walk toward the coffee pot.
"Are the bees awake?" he asks, concerned.
I peek outside, praying that the bees are far, far away. One . . . two, three, four. Nope, the bees are up and at 'em. Lively, buzzing from flower to flower steps away from the front door.
My mind searches like a frantic bunny hopping to and fro, looking for a thorny bush to shelter in. I need something to say other than the truth- the truth that is sure to break him into a million pieces. I can't handle that yet. I need coffee. If I'm going to deliver the truth, I have to have a side dish to soothe the heat. I can't just whip around and say point blank, "Yes, hunny, they are." I know better than that. As his mother, I do my job to meet his needs.
My mind races to create a little white lie. Something like, "Yeahhhhh, I think I see one, but it looks like he's getting sleepy. I bet if we eat breakfast, he will go away."
You know– those ridiculous statements we parents say to herd the kids in the direction we want them to go. I caught myself telling my daughter Indie yesterday "Baby, you gotta brush your teeth. You've got bugs in your mouth." Which isn't entirely false . . . microorganisms right? Still- I knew I had to paint a ridiculous picture to compel good hygiene action. I'm embarrassed that it was fear related, but I digress. Back to the bees.
You see, River is deeply terrified of bees. He was stung a few years back, but the pain remains. Me too, buddy . . . I always think.
He doesn't want to be hurt again. He wants nothing to do with the things. So he stays inside and hovers close to my leg when he has to venture out, staying on full alert.
I don't know how to help, and this bugs me. (no pun intended) I don't know what to do to ease his anxiety. I try the ole "hey buddy, don't move. Just stay really still. It won't bother you if you don't bother it."
He shrieks at the sight and hyperventilates at the sound. His nervous system can't handle it.
He's only four, and I wonder what other fears he will have to face in life. So many, I am sure of it. My mother hurt throbs thinking about this.
It makes me think about my fears, past and present. What makes my skin crawl? Ahd what helps get me through it? Of course, heights, death, and all those big-ticket fears flash through my mind, but I dismiss those. I want to go beyond the surface.- past being bitten by a shark or mauled by a bear. I reflect for a moment on the fears I'm dealing with daily like River's bees. . . Then, Ahhhhh, I discover the ouchie zone- being late, being seen as irresponsible, being scared that someone will think I'm a bad person.
Perhaps, we all have bees that we wish would go to sleep. Yep, I'd say we do.
Nothing left to do but serve some little white lies to help us cope. We can wrap around the leg of our mother, pray for bravery, and walk through the flowers shrieking, whether on the inside or echoing for the whole holler to hear.
Wednesday, May 5, 2021
My Fears of a Garden Taught Me I had to Let Go in Order to Bloom
“Courage is fear that has said its prayers and decided to go forward anyway.” ― Joyce Meyer,
It was the perfect day to get the seeds in the ground. The sun was shining and Josh had finished work early, so we could all plant them as a family. Although, I was feeling resistant and I wasn’t sure why. Josh reminded me how much I wanted to do this and that we have been holding on to the seeds for over a year. ‘Fine.” I thought. Let’s just get this over with.
We started our first garden and now I’m realizing how much fear I had surrounding it.
I wanted the plants to stay close to me. I was scared to put the seeds in the ground. What if they wouldn’t sprout from me doing something wrong?
I kept the lettuce in pots, thinking they would be safer. Putting them in the ground was overwhelming to me. So many things could go wrong and it seems so permanent. Where as, if they are in a pot, I have the freedom to move them around or repot them if need be.
I wanted to be in control.
What if it rained too much? What if it didn’t rain at all this season and I forgot to water them one day? What if the deer get to the veggies? What if the weeds take over? WHAT IF I DO SOMETHING WRONG? I don’t really know what I’m doing anyway. Isn’t there a science to this? How much space do we need between each plant? Which direction do the rows need to go in? How do we know if the soil is healthy? What else do I not know?
I was beginning to feel completely inadequate in gardening. I hadn’t even begun.
Do you ever feel like this when starting something new?
If so, I invite you to reflect with me.
How can we practice being brave in the act of letting go of control? How can we not only have Faith in God; but also have Faith in ourselves? Can we believe in ourselves, in our abilities to tend to our hopes and desires? Can we plant new seeds and trust in our caretaking skills? Can we believe that we are CAPABLE, POWERFUL and WORTHY of blooming?
Can we be patient enough in the struggle as we push up through the soil? And then take time to celebrate our strength, our resiliency and our new growth before moving on to the next season of life?
The answer, of course, is YES. You know it and I know it.
But every time we are faced with fear of the unknown we have an opportunity to plant more seeds. It’s a lifelong practice. We must remember though, that we can’t reap the benefits of seeds we don’t sow.
So let’s encourage each other to take action and get our seeds in the ground.
May the promise of new growth outweigh our fear of stumbling.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Are you stuck in your comfort zone?
A comfort zone is the working, living and social environments you are used to. It is the place where you feel secure and well, comfortable. Your comfort zone determines the types of people you hang out with and the places you may go. I guess you can say that your comfort zone determines your lifestyle.
Is your comfort zone holding you back?
Our dreams and goals are tied directly to our comfort zone; therefore, in order to change or grow we must be brave enough to venture outside our comfort zone and experience new environments. We can not turn our daydreams into reality without taking that scary first step! For example, you may be stuck daydreaming (fantasizing) about living in New York while working for Vogue, because you are afraid of what might happen if you leave a community where you are well known or quit a well established job. But until you shake your fears loose, you will be stuck daydreaming.
Do you feel discontent with life right now? Maybe you need to do something that scares you…
Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
It all comes down to fear…
The thought of trying something new can cause our heart to race. At the threshold of every new experience looms the possibility of failure and rejection, leaving you wrestling with (or simply giving in to) a healthy dose of fear.
The simple truth– fear robs us of our happiness, causing us to settle for far less than we’re capable of.
Fear, the reason why so many of us stop believing in ourselves, stop pursuing our dreams and stop love from growing. And none of us are immune to it.
It all comes down to the Comfort Zone. It all comes down to Fear.
Find your strength. Step outside your comfort zone. Take a risk.
Note: It does not have to be a HUGE step, for instance, overcoming your fear of heights by bungee jumping. Baby steps can get your heart racing. Go ahead, tell your crush you like him before it’s too. late.
#believe #comfortzone #dreamsandgoals #fear