“What in the world! It feels like there is a phone buzzing in my ovaries!”

Yep – I felt implantation vibration.

At first I thought it was stress related. I was working on my feet all day, everyday on hard concrete floors and I was exhausted. So I chalked the buzzing ovaries up to another symptom of adrenaline fatigue. But two days later and the buzzing was still happening- my spidey senses started kicking in. “Could I be . . .”

The full moon was in 8 days. Maybe I’m feeling that, I thought. I’m 3 days late. Hmmm, but my period tends to show up at all different times, so that didn’t mean much to me. I told myself that I would take a pregnancy test on Friday so that I wouldn’t be distracted during the work week if I was actually pregnant. (see, I already knew).

I pulled out my tarot cards and laid out a pregnancy spread which ended up being pretty dang accurate! Then I googled “early signs of pregnancy” all day. Two days later, I took a test and got confirmation that I was pregnant.

Trust that intuition, mama!

These two words sum up our current situation: SETTLING IN.

We are 4 months into this journey and I feel like we made it to the “settling-in” part. The first 3 months were very much survival mode- for both me and baby River.

He’s over there thinking: “where the heck am I? It’s bright and loud and people are looking at me and putting clothes on me and I’m not sure what to do. . . when do I get to eat again?”

While I’m over here like: “Am I holding him the right way? How do I clean his penis? Is he even breathing right now? Crap, my water has been boiling for an hour, I NEED TO EAT my oatmeal. Crap, I forgot I started laundry, again. How do I carry packages into the post office AND him? How do I run my business when I can’t even manage to eat, sleep and shower? What are the breastmilk rules, again . . .4 hours and still good?? Babe, I’m sorry I can’t look at how beautiful it is outside, I’m too busy to even look at my own reflection in the mirror!

Those first 3 months were R -O-U-G-H. Holy Moses. But now we are settling-in. “So how did we arrive here,” I ask myself. Well, it helps that River feels more comfortable and safe now. If he is crying, we usually know why. And we are feeling way more confident as parents, well, more so than those initial weeks of his life. Although, now that I’m on the other side and reflecting on the past three months, I realize that we also had to be intentional and shift some things before we could leave the “survival-mode”. In no particular order:

Acceptance. Surrender. Sacrifice. Adapting.

I had to accept the fact that I could not run a business and take care of a newborn. So I put the business on hold and we figured out a way to pay all the bills from Josh’s income.Accepting help without feeling anything other than grateful. This is a biggie. I had to let go of the guilt and feelings of inadequacy and let people help me. Dishes, dinner, changing diapers, whatever was needed – I eventually realized that I had no room in my system for feeling guilty about accepting help.I had to surrender to his minute-by-minute needs and be more go-with-the-flow than ever before. If that meant abandoning a fully loaded grocery cart due to a fussy session so be it. If that meant leaving a loud restaurant because he was over stimulated even through I was really enjoying the company and conversation, so be it.Lowering cleanliness standards.Adapting to an earlier bed time. Actually, scratch that and let’s just say adapting to a new way of life. A life where everything is done in 2 – 3 hour increments.Saying BRB to some of my favorite clothes and being ok with wearing the same outfits over and over because they are more breast-feeding friendly.

Tell me: How are you settling into Motherhood or your pregnancy?

Dear Cheerleaders,

With the rise in popularity of magical and spiritual things, it’s time to talk about your role within the student body. Let’s cut to the chase: you are a healing artist. It’s time to start acting like one.

Once I graduated high school, I became embarrassed if someone found out that I was a former cheerleader. I hated being judged as the stereotype of a clueless, boring person who dated football players and only cared about being popular. If you are reading this, maybe you relate? It’s unfortunate that I spent ten years disowning that part of my past. Because cheerleading definitely got me here. Some of my favorite stand-out memories are associated with cheering. Now, I understand why. Cheerleading is spiritual.

How strong is your school spirit . . . really? Do you know what it means to be a cheerleader?

It was in a therapy session when I realized that cheerleading is magical. Think about it. We create pep rallies that unify a whole student body. We bring people together and remind them that they are a part of something greater. We lead people in chants that shift the vibration of a whole stadium filled with people. We quite literally lift others up. We are movement artists. Have you ever stopped to think about the artistic skills that are required to sketch out formations and choreograph half-time routines? Art!

Change the stereotype. Elect better captains. Impeach clueless coaches.

Cheerleaders are natural-born leaders. It’s probably why most of them are “popular”. They are usually likable, positive, and caring individuals. So why are cheerleaders so easily stereotyped as ditzy, snobby, vain, and even mean? That doesn’t seem to support our mission of encouraging others.

Perhaps, it’s because there are not enough of us who are taking our roles seriously? Maybe, there are not enough captains who understand what the real roles of cheer actually are? Is your coach doing her job?

Don’t let the “haters” get ya down.

It’s frustrating. I get it. I was often irritated when others would argue that cheer was not a sport. People would roll their eyes at me when I told them I was a cheerleader. Looking back, I can agree with the “haters”. Cheer isn’t just a sport. It’s an art form. Sure, you have to be athletic and work as a team and sometimes you compete but the sport of cheerleading is not the driving force of “why we cheer”. I can understand the eye-rolling, too. A lot of cheerleaders aren’t doing their job to the best of their ability. It’s time we start. I know we can do better. At least, I know we could have done better in 2010 . . . I’m assuming not much has changed. Maybe it has and this means nothing. In that case, horary!

I’m not in school anymore. I guess, technically, I’m not a cheerleader, but as a former captain I still feel a sense of responsibility to lead. Even if it’s by sharing a new perspective that could help better my old stomping grounds.

To all of you former cheerleaders, don’t forget your time on the platform- it has molded you into the speaker of hope and the spirited person that you are.

May your spirit be strong and your team beautifully, unified. 

Lots of love and respect,

Amber

Sources: 12 years of cheer. Many under the great, Judy Henderson. Pic of the squad below.

You may be thinking, “What are Mental Mountains?”

Well, they are just like they sound. Mental Mountains are the challenges that take place in our minds. Every daring creative pursuit involves overcoming at least one. They require a strong and steady spirit to reach the top. Some take days and others take years.

I’m talking about fear, self-doubt, perfectionism and facing the unknown. Ewwww, I know. Do those words send tingly feelings down your spine? It’s ok, they aren’t so bad. Actually they are insightful little guides. OK, let’s get to it. What mountain are you climbing?

7 steps to Climbing Mental Mountains

A Creative Approach to Getting Out Of Your Own Way

Climbing mental mountains is no easy task. It’s not really fun, but it’s necessary in order to live a creative, holistic life. Once you are at the top it will be totally worth it. First, we will determine what mountain you are facing. Then we can chart the course, blaze a trail and climb it!

Provisions you will need:

1. Adequate Courage
2. Willingness to Believe
3. A good companion (dogs count)
4. Inspiring reading material
5. Journal for documenting

What you gain:

1. Self Respect
2. Self Confidence
3. Strength of the Heart
4. A big leap closer to your dreams.
5. A valuable vantage point.

It all starts within.

Step 1. Stop & Listen

What is standing in the way of you and the life you want to live? All you have to do is listen to the voice that arises when you think about your dreams.

Step 2. Name the inner resistance

Give the voice a name. For example, when I hear my inner critic telling me that my writing isn’t good enough that’s when I know I have to climb the mountain of “Perfectionism“. Or if she starts to remind me how hurt I got when my last idea flopped, I know I have to overcome the “Fear of Failure” mountain.

Step 3. Route the Course

Once you know what Mountain (or Mountains in some cases) life is assigning you to climb, then you can begin to sketch a route. This is where creativity comes into play. Like the true Trailblazer you are, it’s time to find your own way through. You can choose to run up it or maybe switch-backs are more your style.

Step 4. Be your own cheerleader

Climb with Love. I’ve noticed that the more Self-Love talk I give myself along the way, the faster I get to the top. Reassure your inner critic that you are safe and are capable of getting to the top. Let the wind sing you your song. Listen, it will.

Step 5. Ask for guidance

Ask for Guidance. If you are struggling with Step 3 and 4 or maybe you just need some affirmation, then turn to your confidant. Tell them what you are struggling with and ask if they can see a way through. Sometimes all we need is a fresh set of eyes. You can also call on your “other than human” guides. Ancestors, angels, spirits of the great beyond!

Step 6. Nourishment

Don’t skip lunch. Your brain needs food. GOOD food. COLORFUL food. Find a tree to lunch with. I’ve come to learn that they are good lunch buddies. (and good listeners)

Step 7. Keep Going

The Final Push. There is always a final push at the end. Adrenaline may kick in as you reach the tree line and sense the top is near. This is a good time to read your inspiring material to be sure you stay focused on your goal of completion. Don’t look back now.

Mental Mountains are not just Creative Blocks. They are valuable gifts on the Self-Discovery journey!

Ahh, sweet perspective

You did it! Take off your pack. Kick off your shoes. Look what you just hiked! Now that you are at the top basking in the warm sun, you can see how far you have come. (hey, that rhymes) This is when you need to pull out your journal and write about your dreams! With a strong sense of accomplishment, you are bound to unleash your best work. Mountaintops give Clarity, Strength and a fresh sense of Wonder. Breathe in the fresh perspective and remember that your dreams are worth fighting for.

Happy Trails,

Amber

#courage #faith #motivation #mindset #selflove #mountains #emotionalwellbeing #hiking #inspiration