Settling Into Motherhood | 4 months IN

These two words sum up our current situation: SETTLING IN.

We are 4 months into this journey and I feel like we made it to the “settling-in” part. The first 3 months were very much survival mode- for both me and baby River.

He’s over there thinking: “where the heck am I? It’s bright and loud and people are looking at me and putting clothes on me and I’m not sure what to do. . . when do I get to eat again?”

While I’m over here like: “Am I holding him the right way? How do I clean his penis? Is he even breathing right now? Crap, my water has been boiling for an hour, I NEED TO EAT my oatmeal. Crap, I forgot I started laundry, again. How do I carry packages into the post office AND him? How do I run my business when I can’t even manage to eat, sleep and shower? What are the breastmilk rules, again . . .4 hours and still good?? Babe, I’m sorry I can’t look at how beautiful it is outside, I’m too busy to even look at my own reflection in the mirror!

Those first 3 months were R -O-U-G-H. Holy Moses. But now we are settling-in. “So how did we arrive here,” I ask myself. Well, it helps that River feels more comfortable and safe now. If he is crying, we usually know why. And we are feeling way more confident as parents, well, more so than those initial weeks of his life. Although, now that I’m on the other side and reflecting on the past three months, I realize that we also had to be intentional and shift some things before we could leave the “survival-mode”. In no particular order:

Acceptance. Surrender. Sacrifice. Adapting.

I had to accept the fact that I could not run a business and take care of a newborn. So I put the business on hold and we figured out a way to pay all the bills from Josh’s income.Accepting help without feeling anything other than grateful. This is a biggie. I had to let go of the guilt and feelings of inadequacy and let people help me. Dishes, dinner, changing diapers, whatever was needed – I eventually realized that I had no room in my system for feeling guilty about accepting help.I had to surrender to his minute-by-minute needs and be more go-with-the-flow than ever before. If that meant abandoning a fully loaded grocery cart due to a fussy session so be it. If that meant leaving a loud restaurant because he was over stimulated even through I was really enjoying the company and conversation, so be it.Lowering cleanliness standards.Adapting to an earlier bed time. Actually, scratch that and let’s just say adapting to a new way of life. A life where everything is done in 2 – 3 hour increments.Saying BRB to some of my favorite clothes and being ok with wearing the same outfits over and over because they are more breast-feeding friendly.

Tell me: How are you settling into Motherhood or your pregnancy?