The Birth Story of Indie Oaks

Dear Indie, 

It’s 9:45 am on a Thursday in January. You are 3 weeks old and I've been attempting to string some words together to tell your birth story. It was such an event! I was only in active labor for four hours but the whole process leading up to the moment you were in my arms was quite frankly, dramatic and intense. So intense that my labor completely stalled for a whole day due to emotional stress! 

 
Sweet girl, one day you may experience giving birth and I hope that I am right beside you every step of the way like Daddy and Grammie were for me. It is one wild ride and guess what. All you really have to do is relax and enjoy it for the most part. Then towards the end, it's some work, but I know you will be strong and I know you will believe in yourself and your body. I know, because I’m going to teach you. I will teach you how to trust yourself and breathe properly and have faith that everything is going to be ok.

Indie, we welcomed you during a beautiful snowy, white Christmas weekend. Everything was glistening as the sun beamed down upon us. I was basking in the beauty and gratitude as we drove home with you and River in the backseat. I just kept saying to everyone that congratulated us, “I’m so glad she is here.” I am. I am so insanely happy you are here beside me, making your little grunting noises and looking at the world with your big wandering eyes.

On May 1st, 2020 I discovered that I was pregnant with you. 

Did you know that Beltane is on May 1st? A day symbolizing fertility and the unity of male and female energies to create new life . Scotland and Ireland observe it as a special holiday by celebrating with a big fire festival. You have scott-irish blood! How cool is that!?

I was a little in shock because we weren’t “trying” to get pregnant but you really wanted to be part of the family and grow up with River. We accepted this and started getting ready for you! Grammie and I went and bought you new clothes, blankets and other goodies so that it would really feel like home to you. I think Daddy was the most excited. He really wanted a little girl and has been working around the clock to provide for you and our family. He has plans to make you your own room very soon! I found some floral wallpaper that I think you will love. When you get a little older, you will be able to decorate it however you want. It will be your sacred space.

During the time you were in my belly, I was really sick . . . a lot. You wouldn’t let me eat pizza or drink soda water (two of my favorite things). You wouldn’t let me take a bath or sleep on my right side. You were very active in the womb, constantly kicking and stretching. You are already so strong from those exercises! You love lifting your head up and trying to stand already!

So yes, being pregnant with you wasn’t all that fun. We were also in a global pandemic! So I couldn’t see my friends. It was hard, but we got through it. 

Towards the end, I was very ready to meet you. I thought you might have been coming around Thanksgiving because my contractions started getting stronger and you seemed to be moving down instead of sitting up in my chest! I had to pee all the time because you were sitting on my bladder!

It was on Christmas Eve when you started to make your descent into the birth canal. 

You heard all of us celebrating and you just couldn’t wait. You were ready to meet your family! So as soon as we said bye to Grammie, Pappy, Aunt sis, Body, Uncle Tuck and Uncle J, you pretty much said “wait ya’ll I’m coming!”

I felt my belly tightening every 10 minutes! I gave the family a big hug and as they walked out the door, my smile grew bigger as I blurted out "see ya in a couple days!" I knew I was going to hold you soon. I went upstairs to finish wrapping Maya Moon’s gift before we left for Grandma-ma and Pappa D’s house and felt my belly tighten with more contractions, one after the other! I knew it was time. So me and Daddy got our bags packed and prepared to go to the Birth Center.

On our way to town, we figured out where River was going to go because he couldn’t be with us. We had plans for him to stay with Grammie and Pappy at our house but they got stuck driving in the snow! So we dropped him off to spend the night with Maya Moon.

This was our first night without your brother. I didn’t realize how sad it would make me. I didn’t like leaving him, but we had to. Daddy and I get in the car and started driving to the Birth Center so we could meet you! 

But there was a problem . . .

The snow was coming down fast and hard! It was like a blizzard! The roads were covered and everyone was driving really slow so they could be safe. I was scared we weren’t going to make it! And you know what happens when a birthing woman is scared? Labor stops. Yep. My labor started slowing down when we were in the car and by the time we got to the Birth Center, my contractions completely stopped!!

We tried all sorts of things to try to induce labor again. I was doing laps around the room, lots of lunges and circling around on a big giant yoga ball. Daddy helped, too. He put a big giant scarf around my belly and tried to shimmy you around. Nothing seemed to help. I think you needed rest after the big stressful drive. I think I needed rest, too.

I was so sad. I was sad to be away from your brother and I was sad that the nurse and the midwife that drove out to help us were away from their families on Christmas and I was sad because we weren’t going to meet you (yet).

We were stuck

We had to stay the night at the Birth Center so we could leave safely in the morning when the roads were clear.

My sweet girl, just remember, not everything goes according to plan during birth . . . or in life. We can’t control everything. We must learn to go with the flow and trust in the Mystery.

The next morning we wake up and drive to get River. We were so excited to go home and spend Christmas together. We had gifts under the tree and banana bread to eat! But we ran into another problem . . . we couldn’t go home! Our mountain roads still had lots of snow on them. So we waited and waited for the snow plows to clear the roads, but they never came. During all of this waiting in the car, River was getting cranky, I was getting hungry and we ran out of diapers. And guess what . . . No stores were open! Not even Walmart!

So we went back to Grandma-ma’s and Pappa D’s and on the way there we decided to stay the night because I was afraid the roads would get bad again overnight and we wouldn’t be able to make it to the birth center if you decided to come again!

While Daddy and River played in the snow, I rested the whole day and I prayed that you would wait a little bit longer, because I really needed to recover from all the chaos and you did.

We finally made it home the next day and celebrated Christmas together. 

Daddy and River played outside some more while I repacked our bags. During dinner, the contractions started happening again and I looked at Daddy like “uh oh . . . she could be coming tonight.” Then, “BAM” my water erupted! I screamed because for a split second I didn’t know what had happened. I thought someone had punched me in the vagina! But . . oh no . . wait … . I’m all wet! My water broke!

Chaos ensues.

Daddy gets panicky (which is strange because he never does)! River is scared and senses our stress. I’m trying to talk to the midwife and explain to her that “YES, I’m one thousand percent sure my water just broke”. As much as we had prepared, we still felt like we weren’t ready. BUT YOU WERE!
After running around like chickens with our heads cut off, we finally get in the car and start driving to the Birth Center. It’s dark and there is still so much snow on the ground. Luckily, Daddy is a great driver and got us to the Birth Center safely and quickly!

It’s a little blurry from here. One day, you might understand first hand how this part of the journey gets fuzzy. You have to focus with all of your might on your breathing. You have to get super connected with your body. Nothing else matters. You just take it breathe by breathe.

I was so grateful to have Daddy and the Birth Center team there holding space for me. They encouraged me the whole way through and made me feel safe and like I was doing exactly what I needed to do.

Just a few more hours and we would be laying in bed together! 

I labored in the shower on my hands and knees for about an hour. The intensity was so strong and my body was working so hard. My knees started to go numb and my inner thighs were aching. I could barely stand up when we started to move to the birth pool. I leaned on Daddy and the nurses as they helped me get into the water.

Ahhhh. . . the water felt so good. I could hear the midwife and nurse gathering supplies to catch you. “Wow, “ I thought, we are almost to the pushing phase. I made all kinds of animal noises. I howled and growled and moaned. One day, I will teach you about how opening your throat and jaw helps to open your pelvis! Your body is so cool.

So the wider I could open my mouth and the deeper I could get my voice to go, the easier it was to help you move down. We were working together. I moved into low lunges and deep squats and once I flipped around I felt ready to push. But I couldn’t get grounded in the water. My body just kept floating to the top. So we moved to the bed, which is where I birthed River!

Daddy was behind, holding my hand and cheering us on the whole time. I pushed for only twenty four minutes! (River took two hours!) At the very end, I felt defeated. I was exhausted. Depleted and like I had given it my all. Your head was half way out. All I needed was one more big push, one more big roar. I heard the nurse say “you have to do this. Do this for your baby.” And that’s all it took to unlock my fear. I gave all that I didn’t even have left to give and you were born. (that’s motherhood) Conjuring up energy when you have none.

Once I felt you on my chest, all was right in the world. I was full of gratitude and love and euphoria. Nothing compares to birth. Nothing.

I love you, Indie Oaks. 

-Mama