My Postpartum Body

This is my body 4 days after giving birth. Round, swollen, bleeding, tender, healing, transforming. 

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It was New Years day and I couldn’t help but take a little video of myself massaging oil on my squishy postpartum belly. It was a big moment for me because I had just stepped on the scale, (gasp, not the scale!) looked in the mirror & felt nothing but gratitude for my body. This was a big change in attitude for me. It was a New Year & new Amber. 
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This body and I have been on a journey. Actually, my whole life has been akin to one big war: Amber verses her own body. Sounds sad and dramatic but the reality is that many women my age have the same story. (where my soul sisters at?) I hated this body for a long, long time. And that hate seeped into every area of my life- destroying relationships, dreams and who knows what else. My body wasn’t thin enough or tall enough or smooth enough or strong enough . . . the list goes on, but I don’t think we need to go down that rabbit hole today. I’ll save the body dysmorphia, obsession and eating disorder stories for another time.
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What I am here to say today is I LOVE MY BODY. I CELEBRATE MY BODY. I am AMAZED at this body. This body carried, grew, nourished and birthed not one but TWO healthy babies!!! 💛 Our relationship has been rocky, dark and painful. So much hatred and self sabotage ultimately brought me to the bottom of the ocean. There I met the Divine, Mother Earth, the Feminine, my true essence. Years of healing and cultivating a loving relationship with my body led me down the most amazing path- becoming a wife to my favorite person and a woman who would rather channel wolf energy to be able to howl and growl her babies into the world instead of help from modern medicine. A woman who trusts in the mystery. 
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Tonight, I am cozy in our den with my two babes and I’m in awe of how we got here. This life, this human journey is just so beautiful. Maybe it’s the postpartum hormones, but I just well up with tears thinking about all the transformation I’ve experienced. All the growth my soul has gone through. I look forward to the journey ahead with Faith, Gratitude, Humbleness & newfound Strength.

Thank you, friends, for seeing me in my fullness, radiance and beauty. Thank you for reflecting this back to me over and over again. Especially my husband- He is such a light in my life. I am so happy to have people in my life who illuminate truth. 
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Gahhhhh now I’m rambling. Gotta go take care of the kids! 
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I love you. Talk soon.
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May you trust in your body. May Love lead you all over the map and through a wide range of emotions that teach you about your own innate wisdom and power within! 🙏 So much love, Amber #postpartumbody #fourthtrimester#motherhood #bodylove#womanhood #riteofpassage