We live in a seemingly connected world. Technology has enabled us to connect whenever, wherever. It has made our lives more efficient and we now have access to an abundance of resources. One can argue that we are connected to everything ALL OF THE TIME. Yet, we are finding ourselves separate from the things that matter most. Our best friends are in our back pocket, but we still feel lonely.
Distracted, Discontent and Disconnected from the real world.
This became all too clear when I gave birth to my first son, River. I found myself feeling alone and frustrated. I was doing all the things I thought would help bring me closer to my joy. I was going to story time and visiting with family and going to mom groups. I even tried to start a mom blog.
None of that seemed to work. It just made me feel more lonely. It took all year to figure out that I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I was just too dang distracted. I made the link between social-media and my feelings of “dis-connect”. Everyday I felt this weird pressure to post, like, engage, follow, connect. Since I had used social media as a Marketing tool in my prior business the habitualized “need to be active online” pattern way of thinking was strong. Naturally, I thought connecting online was the most efficient way to gain support and not lose my shit as a new mom. So I would hop on a mom Facebook group while breastfeeding or scroll Pinterest for some meal inspiration. But it just made me feel more overwhelmed, sad, alone and anxious.
“Earth to Amber”, I would hear Nature whisper. “It’s time to come back to reality.”
It was stealing so much of my time and stressing me out. I had to take a break. So I did a 30 day social media cleanse. It was freeing and insightful. I was surprised at how easy it was, but I was excited to get back online. Spending time on Social Media had become a ritual and a creative outlet, especially since I started posting my poetry on Instagram.
sometimes you need more than a short shower
It was only a couple days of me being back online when a sinking, intuitive feeling came about. I had just wasted precious napping time mindlessly scrolling. I knew I needed a longer break to change this unhealthy relationship I was having with my phone. Every time I would grab it my fingers instantly swiped open my social apps and then I checked my email. I was addicted to that little dopamine hit that we get from notifications!!!
Babies bring motivation.
A few weeks before River turned one, I had a big ah-ha moment after he began imitating me cleaning. Oh my gosh, this baby is watching my every move. I have to be the best role model I can be! I was inspired and motivated to be a better mother- a mother that was not consumed by her phone. I mean, I’m molding the future. This is an honor, a privilege and a huge responsibility. I’m taking this role seriously. I thought to myself.
I vowed to get off social media until I felt more confident and connected with the things that mattered most.
I’m currently 52 days social media free and one thing is for sure. I’m doing a lot more of what I love. This blog is a testament to that! So far, I’ve been writing everyday- focused and fearless. I’m betting that I will feel more present through the holidays, which will in turn make me feel more connected to my family and friends. I know that by the end of this, I will return to social media with a stronger mindset, clear intentions, healthy boundaries, better sex life, better attitude and way less anxiety.
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