I’m starting a new ritual! There are some things that I really, really love that I want to share with you. Each week I will be sharing about five things that help me to live the life I want to live. Things that have changed my life; products that I depend on daily; people that have innate gifts that have altered the course of my life; books, books, oh the books; places that contain so much beauty it’s pure soul-asty. (Yes, that is my word. Ask my friend Jerry.) Holiday traditions, recipes, colors, fabrics, prayers, friends, words, websites, so many things.
Friday, January 24, 2020
Friday Favorites, Vol I
Hi everyone.
Why?
Because talking about things we love and why we love them is fun and healthy. It puts us in a state of gratitude. And well, sharing is caring, right?
Things I Love Thursday begins today. Here are 5 things I’m loving right now.
- Everyday Oil. I’ve been using Everyday since I picked up a bottle at a holiday market in 2017. I love it so much that it was the number one thing on my Christmas list this year. I also bought 4 bottles of it for gifts. It’s 100% plant based and made in Black Mountain, NC. Just as their website says, I use it Everyday. Everywhere. Josh uses it too, now.
- As I type this, I’m guzzling down some of Mother Mountain Herbal‘s Spicy Nettle Chai Tea. It’s getting me through winter in the woods. Best when drank from a mug that says “Mom” with butterflies all over it.
- Scrabble. Tell me. When is the last time you have played a board game? We played Scrabble when Josh’s family visited recently and it was so nice to sit around a board game, with the fire going. We’ve been building up our collection since we moved in. Scrabble remains my favorite.
- This app. I’ve been using the MyDays app to track my moon time, ovulation and mood since 2016 when I saw an energy healer for some womanly issues. She recommended it and I was hooked instantly.
- Our wood stove. Our home has been so cozy. Almost, too cozy at times. We have to open windows upstairs to regulate the temperature. I love feeding the fire and feeling more in touch with the elements that keep us going- physically and spiritually.
Do you use any of these things? Do they bring you happiness as well? I’d love to know! Also, I’m all ears for board game suggestions!
My 1st Kundalini Yoga Class
I had been curious about Kundalini for years. Although, it had never been intriguing enough to try it out. I knew Kundalini had something to do with intense breath work and that Guru Singh does it at the end of all his podcasts, but that was about all I knew. In my energy healing apprenticeship, we had done a bit of breath work and I dreaded it. Mainly, because I was terrible at it and it was a tender time in my life to be terrible at things. And yet here I am- writing about how much my spirit is craving to breathe deeper and more fully these days- terrible or not, Kundalini here I come.
Change of plans.
As I was driving to the gym, ya know, to really sweat and exercise I was feeling this intuitive nudge to skip running. How about opting for something more gentle and more contained, I heard my spirit whisper. I pulled over and quickly searched “yoga classes” in Asheville. For the first time, I really wanted to breathe through my anxiety instead of running it out. It’s like my soul was telling me, “You can’t run away from this, Amber“.
Maybe, it’s not my year to run a marathon. Maybe it’s my year to meditate. To face the fears, but in a gentle, loving way. To be feminine. To be motherly.
My mind loves running because my body is actually moving at similar speed. Plus, all the sweating makes me feel accomplished. It does move a lot of stagnant energy; however, I’m noticing that it’s not doing the trick mentally since I’ve given birth. My anxiety is higher than ever and the stress just seems to be compounding. My little trips to the gym are supposed to be my precious “me-time” but instead it is ALOT of me worrying about being away from River. I do my routine as quick as I can, skimp on my cool down, rush through stretching and skip the glorious shower. I tell myself, “well, at least I got a quick run in. . . better than nothing, right?”
Hmmm. . . I’m starting to wonder.
Which brings me back to why I was feeling like changing things up. Maybe, it’s not my year to run a marathon. Maybe it’s my year to meditate. To face the fears, but in a gentle, loving way. To be feminine. To be motherly.
So, Yoga called.
I’ve been doing yoga at home for years. I always thought, “why spend money on a class when you can just do it at home.” This is great when you know the basics but a time may come when Yoga calls you deeper. I’m learning. . .
I noticed that Ra Ma, a local teacher that I had been following for three+ years, was teaching a Kundalini class from 4- 5:30pm. This was affirmation from the universe that I should get on a mat instead of on a bike. I’ve been curious about her Moon Ceremonies for a while, but the stars haven’t aligned for me to attend. Seemed like they wanted me to attend her yoga class! So I took the hint and signed up online.
The Anxiety of doing something new was there.
I walked into the studio and saw two people in all white. “Oh shit. Did I mess up? Wait, was I even supposed to bring my mat? Damn. . . I knew I should have left it in the car. I feel like such a newbie.“
All the fears showed up and I couldn’t help but laugh at myself. Ok, Amber. This is exactly why you are here. Get your butt on the mat and calm down.
I was early because I’m always early. I sat down and watched the room fill up. I wondered how many people had been here before and if I would be the only first-timer. I began to relax after seeing others wearing black and carrying their own mat like me. Everyone seemed to have this calm energy about them. I loved the variety of ages, shapes and sizes of women in the room. You are safe here– Oh, good. My wise inner voice showed up, too. 🙂
Patience, a mini yoga class before the yoga class.
I looked across the room and saw a woman stretching into child pose. Yeah, ok, that seems like a good idea, I thought. So I followed suit until the instructor, Ra Ma, was ready. I closed my eyes and told myself that I was here for me. That River was OK. That Josh was OK. No one needed anything from me. This was my time to relax my nervous system, so that I could be there for my family when they did need me with a calm and steady spirit.
I looked up and saw a woman standing over me with this bewildered look in her eyes. She was trying to figure out where to put her mat. There was too little room on either side of me. I remember thinking, “why can’t she go somewhere else? Why is she insisting that I move? How dare her bother me. Also, why isn’t she talking to me? She is just standing over me confused like.“
I looked up and saw that the room was completely full. I quickly moved over for her, felt guilty for judging her awkwardness and went into my “empath, worry about everyone” mode. There were more people coming in the door. WHERE WOULD THEY ALL SIT? WOULD PEOPLE HAVE TO LEAVE? I scanned the room and started working out the puzzle in my mind. (why, you ask? IDK! That’s just what empaths do) I did the math and realized that everyone could fit. It would be tight, but we were all ok. No one would be turned away from Kundalini because of lack of space. Phew.
Damn, this instructor must be good. It’s a packed house!
Ra Ma sat down and welcomed everyone. She was in all white and had a soft, glowing smile. I was sitting directly in front of her. Not by choice, if I hadn’t been forced to keep moving over then I could have been in the back corner. . . where I could slip out if things got weird. Sitting directly center, in front of the instructor, made me nervous. I was sure to “mess up” since this was all new to me. The class was starting. I had to go with, so I did.
Ra Ma began with an Astrological Forecast and reminded us that these are “important times.”
She encouraged everyone to write down our dreams for the next 2, 5, 10 years and to be diligent about working toward what we desire. I couldn’t help but wonder if she had any Virgo in her chart as she explained writing down all the major astrological transits and her color-coding wall calendar process. I like this woman, I thought. As if I was marking off some mental check-list about if Kundalini was “right for me”.
With the fresh Aquarius season approaching, this all felt divinely synchronistic.
We all closed our eyes as Ra Ma brought our awareness to our intention. I thought of my word: Peace. I just want to feel calm inside. I vowed to take in every minute of my “baby-free, me-time”during the class. She invited us to enter a state of gratitude and I quickly thought about my family. Josh’s family was at my house playing with River so i could be here. Our families are our backbone and I’m not sure I express my gratitude enough to them.
I wish I could remember all the things Ra Ma told us during the beginning of class. There was something she said about the energetic forces of the Heart being able to wrap around the entire Earth and that it can surpasses time and space. Wow, what a beautiful image. I just remember thinking about the power of prayer and the validity of miracles. (will be researching this further)
We moved onto warming up our bodies and Breath of Fire, where you breathe in and out of your nose quickly and evenly. A friend once told me, “if you want to get high without drugs, try Breath of Fire.” I wondered if I would feel high after Kundalini. . . I did.
We chanted. Well, I tried, but I wasn’t quite sure what we were saying. I wondered what was actually happening during the chants. I knew it was raising? shifting? altering? our vibrational frequency . . but HOW?? I couldn’t help be curious. Still, I chanted.
We did Kriya, which I now know it to be a comprehensive combination of pranayama, mantra, and mudra. I really appreciated Ra Ma’s comparison of Kriya Yoga to being like a recipe- “like baking a cake” she said. It’s important to follow the exact recipe to be most effective. It was easy for my beginner mind to grasp on to.
I was completely lost in the moment. In the best way. It was a magnificent challenge to: breathe evenly, hold my arms in the air while alternating between finger positions, all while “gazing” at the tip of your nose. THEN, we were instructed to lock our root or activate our root lock- something like that. (will be listening for better instructions next time) Stuff, is it tough shit! Ra Ma had some up beat music playing. I tried to find a rhythm with my fingers but then noticed that I stopped breathing. Then, I noticed I was closing my eyes.
I was trying my hardest to get the “recipe” right, but it was inevitable that my beginner chops needed more practice. If I skip the root lock, is that like forgetting to put in the eggs when baking a cake??
Something was being “activated” despite my floundering through Kriya.
I gave into the fun of it and let the pressure go when we started doing some crazy shoulder dance. Ram Ma said it was to open our rib cage, the space where the lungs live. “do it with style” she suggested. I tapped into my dancing roots with my hands atop my shoulders, bouncing up and down, eyes closed, swaying to the beat, channeling any bird that would take me higher.
We went it the “relaxation” portion of the session. (I think this was the gong bath, but I’m not too sure since my eyes were closed 90% of the time.) I’m still trying to find the words to describe exactly what went on during this 5-7 minute stretch. The sounds made it seem like I was traveling through a worm hole. That’s the best I got right now. Sounds weird. . . it was.
To close up, we did some more light stretching on our backs, some “wave-like” movements with our arms and upper torso and more chanting.
The class was not too long nor too short. I feel like in other yoga classes, I’m either ready for them to end or longing for a bit more time to relax. I left feeling so satisfied. I was Yoga High and I couldn’t wait to get home to tell Josh about it.
So many little delighting surprises!
I was surprised how fun and invigorating Kundalini was- maybe it was the newness or the challenge. I guess I’ll have to keep going to find out.
It really did calm my nerves and quieten the incessant mind chatter.
I was also completely shocked from how sore I was the next day. It took two full days for my shoulders to stop hurting. (It was that good pain, like my stress was burning away.)
The Big Takeaway: Kundalini is not just some foo-foo breathing class. It’s tough. It’s powerful. It’s fun. It’s for everyone. It will get you out of your head and into your body. You might sweat. You might be sore. You will definitely feel good and full of energy afterwards. It might just be my next obsession.
Ra Ma, if you read this. Thank You! Thank you for an amazing first Kundalini Class.
Thursday, January 16, 2020
A Soul Chat: For Uncertain Times
Find A Tree & Hold on Tight
Remember when we were kids and they would tell us that if we were to ever get lost in the woods to find a tree and hold on? Well, I’m here to tell you it works. (especially if you have a whistle) When we are lost we need something to anchor into. Something that will remind us to stand still and breathe. Help always comes.
Firstly, if you are searching for light in the midst of a hazy time, please know that you are not alone. I am with you. I feel you from miles away. I feel your shoulders heavy with the weight of the world. I feel your stomach full of deep desires. I feel your heart bursting with so much pain because you just want to make a difference.
I get it. I understand what it feels like to be searching for more. More than what you are currently experiencing. You are hungry for a sign, a glimmer of hope that there is more than a mediocre existence. You are craving clarity in a time of uncertainty.
Secondly, let me tell. Hope is available. Love will take you. Hold on with all of your might. You can get through this. Keep your mind strong. This is not the time to doubt your trailblazing skills. This is a time to harness your power and transmute confusion into clarity. Turn your “I’m not good enough, I don’t even know what I’m doing with my life, everything sucks” thinking into portals of curiosities. “Hmmm, well , that didn’t quite work like I thought it would . . . I wonder if I tried a different method. . . wow. . now I realize I need more time to myself . . . Oh. . . ok. . . that probably wasn’t the best time to start a garden. . .”
Lastly, extend grace and love to yourself. If you are an ambitious person willing to risk and sacrifice in the name of your dreams, then chances are high that you are a person with a courageous and determined spirit. Remember that! Channel that!
Think of this time as an invitation from the universe to believe in yourself and your spirit guides. The universe rewards those who believe.
So find a tree, say a prayer and hold on.
Thanks to the internet, we can journey together. All of my love, dear friend.
Friday, January 10, 2020
How to Prepare for Natural Childbirth
“Birth Matters… It matters because it is the way we all begin our lives outside of our source, our mother’s bodies. It’s the means from which we enter and feel our first impression of the wider world. For each mother, it is an event that shakes and shapes her to her innermost core. Women’s perceptions about their bodies and their babies’ capabilities will be deeply influenced by the care they receive around the time of birth. ” – Ina May Gaskin
If you are curious about natural childbirth or already know you want to give birth naturally then this post will help you prepare!
When I found out that I was pregnant, it was a big surprise. Where and how I was going to give birth were two extremely important decisions. As I started to explore my options, it became clear that I belonged at the WNC Birth Center because of the high care, low intervention. Do some research, visit your local birth center and educate yourself on the process of birth. Know why YOU want a natural birth because at some point, you’ll probably want to quit – you’d be in the minority if you didn’t.
What is a natural birth?
Natural birth can mean different things to different people. For this post, I am defining natural birth as an unmedicated, low intervention vaginal labor and delivery.
“Every year in the U.S., over 80% of women have an epidural during labor and over 30% of women give birth via cesarean”, according to the International Doula Institute. “Another option for delivery that some women choose is for a natural, or unmedicated, birth. Because most women have pain medication, new moms usually don’t remember that natural birth is an option. But, there are hidden benefits of a natural birth that you should be aware of when considering how you want your birthing experience to go.”
The moment a child is born,
the mother is also born.
Know the Benefits of Natural Childbirth
When making a decision about how I would give birth, it came down to these simple, yet profound and proven benefits. Educating yourself on the benefits of giving birth naturally is a wonderful way to feel empowered and committed to your decision. Here is what I discovered when I researched natural births:
Connection to your body and your baby.
This was my number one reason I decided to go natural. I wanted the safest, easiest delivery as possible. I knew that if I was medicated then I would be disconnected from my body- the last thing I wanted. I needed to feel what was happening. Maybe it was a strange way to keep some sort of control in what is a very uncontrollable event. However, keeping the ability to feel was a big benefit for me. Even if it meant feeling pain and discomfort. Being able to feel when I needed to change positions or push allowed me to birth with a sense of empowerment and connection to by baby.
Freedom to create your own environment.
Whether it be in a hospital, birthing center or at home, natural birth gives you the ability to move, eat, shower, receive a massage or whatever else you need to create an atmosphere that will assist in a labor and birth.
This benefit was key in helping me remain calm and confident during my birth. I labored in the water, shower, toilet and in the bed. Since I was able to freely change positions, River was able to wiggle his way out faster and more smoothly.
Minimal Interventions
Women who birth naturally can relax easier with no distractions or discomforts of monitoring equipment. Women who receive epidurals are hooked up to machines for routine IV’s, catheters and continuous fetal monitoring.
Faster Recovery Time
Without the intervention of pain medicine, natural birthing moms are able to recover more quickly because their bodies are able to release hormones like oxytocin which give them a burst of energy. This allows them to breastfeed more easily without feeling groggy and move around. Walking will aid in recovery and avoiding constipation.
I was amazed that I was able to move around right after birth and back to light exercising within two weeks!
“Imagine what might happen if women emerged from their labor beds with a renewed sense of the strength and power of their bodies, and of their capacity for ecstasy through giving birth” — Dr. Christine Northrup
Treat your body right. Everyday.
Your body is a home. It’s a temple. It’s sacred ground. Now, more than ever, you must treat it with care. Your babies life depends on it. Keep it clean and healthy with wholesome food. Nourish it with positive thoughts. Build your strength and keep your eyes on the horizon. Rest is vital. Body Love = Baby Love
Believe everything is connected. We are not apart from nature.
Develop a Strong Mindset
“There is a secret in our culture, and it’s not that birth is painful. It’s that women are strong.” ~ Laura Stavoe Harm
- Pay Attention. Mary Oliver once said that “attention is the beginning of devotion.” I taped this quote on my wall to remind me to be present throughout my journey and to be mindful of my thoughts.
- Be curious. Be open to exploring the changes that are happening to you. Remember you powerful, life giving being! I wanted to notice the slightest changes in my body and my mood, because that meant, learning more about the human inside of me. <3
- Stay on the Sunny Side. Be diligent about being positive. Whatever it is that helps you stay uplifted, make it a daily practice. Set a time to listen to affirmations, read uplifting stories, connect with other strong mamas or engage in any other activity that brings you peace and joy.
- Let your faith be boundless. Pregnancy is a highly spiritual time. Some of the best advice I received in regards to giving birth was that “we are just along for the ride”. It reminded me to let go and surrender to the supernatural process that I was chosen to be a part of. Things will happen that will be out of our control. And that’s OK. There is a greater force at work. Trust in the magic.
Explore alternative ways to handle pain management
“The power and intensity of your contractions cannot be stronger than you, because it is you.” ~ Unknown
Georgia Ragonetti-Zebell, MD, FACOG, an obstetrician-gynecologist who blogs at Momma Docs, says, “I see some patients that say, ‘I’m going to give it a try.’ If you really want an unmedicated birth, that ‘I’ll try‘ mindset rarely works out. While women have been doing it for centuries, they didn’t always have the option of an epidural right next door, so you need to do something to prepare if you want to avoid medication.”
I used water therapy by laboring in the shower and in the birthing pool, and also relied on my hypno-birthing skills. My midwife gave me Arnica oil and flower essences. Heating pads, massages, aromatherapy and playing music are other great ways to help you relax and take your mind off the pain.
Having a daily practice that I could stick to everyday allowed me to build endurance in a more sustainable way.
8 Simple and Practical Self Care Tips for a Natural Pregnancy
Developing a daily routine was key in my birthing experience. I saw pregnancy as a sacred time to prepare for the big event and I took it seriously. Nature gives us ample time to prepare our hearts, minds, bodies and souls for what is up ahead. Enjoy the journey. Day by day.
- Build endurance. Exercise daily to get your heart rate up. Increase your stamina and visualize that you will have the energy to get through your birthing time!
- Connect with herbal allies. Evening Primrose Oil is known to soften the cervix. Passionflower, Lavender and Chamomile will calm any nerves. Arnica oil can be used during and after labor for relief.
- Train your brain to stay calm with daily affirmations and meditations. Practicing hypnobirthing worked for me! I also used the Rainbow Relaxation CD everyday.
- Stay motivated, inspired and focused with positive birth stories. Here’s a handy list of ideas.
- Make a birthing plan and a reminder/ to-do list for the big day. Download a contraction counter app on your phone!
- Take good care of your skin. I used Savannah Bee Company’shttps://amzn.to/35Mly9q Royal Jelly Body Butter everyday and truly felt like a glowing queen after soaking my skin in it. The Tupelo Honey is the bee’s knees.
- Visit with your baby- You and your baby are a team. Be sure to bond with him everyday. Read a book out loud. Do a guided meditation or simply tell her what you are doing throughout the day.
Birth partners are the ones who stay by your side and on your side.
A Word on Birth Partners
I was so fortunate to have Joshua with me. We probably would have had a Doula there if we had more financial resources, but I’m glad it was just the two of us. He was my anchor to the real world as I traversed to another realm to get my baby. I’m aware that not everyone gets to experience birth with the father or partner of their (1st) choice. If this is the case for you, then you have a decision to make.
Who do you want by your side? Who can you depend on? Who will hold space for you best? You can consider hiring a doula. You can enlist the support of your mother, sister or best friend. Whoever it may be, make sure they are people who will create a peaceful environment for you and your baby.
Sign up for a childbirth class.
Don’t sleep on birthing classes! We were required to take one and I’m so glad we did. If you are in the Asheville area, I highly recommend taking Birthing with Courage taught by Chama Woyda of Homegrown Babies.
By educating yourself on the birthing process, you will feel more calm and confident throughout your pregnancy and labor. We learned valuable things such as what “pre-labor” is, breathing techniques, when to call the midwife and the different stages of labor. It also prepared me and Josh to work as a team in that sort of setting.
A warm, cozy nest is alway best.
Prepare Your Nest
OK, listen up. I want to warn you about the overwhelm that comes with figuring out what baby gear you actually need. You probably already know there is a plethora of brands to choose from and handy new gadgets out there calling your name. They are all shiny and I know what it feels like to want the best for your little one. But you really only need the basics. So just remember that when setting out to create your registry. Have fun with it and poll your other mom friends for what products they used most. Be sure to consider your lifestyle and what is most practical.
Here are a few of my top favorite items that used everyday in the infant stage.
- Breast Pump (free through insurance!)
- Sound Machine
- Halo SleepSack Swaddle
- DockATot
- In-Sight Mirror for Car
- Muslim Swaddles
- Car Seat (go ahead and install it in your car!)
- Thule Jogging Stroller
Be prepared to catch the wave!
Change of clothes . . . check! Waterproof mascara . . . check! Breast pump . . . check!
Pack Your Bag
It’s a good idea to have a bag packed with all of the things you will want to have at your birth and afterwards. (don’t forget about your birth partner, too) Unless, of course, you are planning on a home birth.
You may consider a change of clothes, heating pad, candles, tooth brush, snacks (honey sticks are great), water bottle, nursing bra, breast pump, Tucks pads, your birthing playlist, your birth plan/intentions, camera, waterproof mascara, belly band, robe and slippers.
Further Reading
If you have arrived at this post wondering if Natural Childbirth is for you, then I encourage you to explore it as an option by meditating, reflecting, researching and reading. Here are some of my favorites:
Ina May’s Guide to Natural Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
Birthing from Within by Pam England
Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives by Deepak Chopra
I hope this helps you prepare, mama! Just know that you have everything you need to birth your baby safely. You are so strong. You got this!
So much love and deep respect, Amber
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